Dear Renee, Here is what happened after you left for work:

You are never gonna believe this!

So, Ward went ahead and got the pet store owner to open up after nine PM, just so he could rent the annoying parrot for one day.  He was convinced to do this because June, his wife, told her own personal sob story to him, about how when she was at boarding school, she was so lonely and homesick that she told all the girls that her mother was a big time movie star, Laverne Laverne.  Her mother found out, and instead of backing her up, made her tell the entire school that she had made it all up.  June was obviously still carrying shame over this incident, and encouraged Ward to get the parrot, and trust that the Beav would realize the error of his ways, and never put his parents in that kind of spot again.

The Beaver took the parrot to school for the Pet Fair, and won the Blue Ribbon, much to Judy's utter disgust.  After the whole class left, Beaver tried to return the Blue Ribbon, explaining the whole situation, about how he lied because he was embarrassed his family did not own a pet. His teacher, Miss Landers, told him that was a very silly thing to be ashamed of, and that his parents were pretty great for backing him up like that.  The Beaver told Miss Landers he would never put his parents in such a spot again, and he accepted the Blue Ribbon, after all.

I do not think anybody mentioned the new pet hamster ever again.  They probably killed it.

************

In the next episode, Wally had to stay home all weekend and study for his history exam, instead of crash Mary Ellen Rogers house with Lumpy and Eddie Haskell.  They were supposed to "listen to records and eat junk".

Lumpy and Eddie went to Mary Ellen's house without Wally, and told him they were not worried about the history test.  They had it covered.

What that meant was that Eddie had come up with some cockamamie scheme to cheat on the test, involving them excusing themselves to wash their hands and get the answers, written on paper towels in the bathroom.

Unbeknownst to all three, the history teacher was wise to this scheme, and had planted a quote from Hamlet on the paper towel, removing the illicit answers.

Wally saw this first, however, because he legitimately had a pen explode on him, and actually had to wash his hands.  Lumpy and Eddie went to the bathroom, only to find no answers, and both failed their exam, both scoring in the low fifties.

Wally, on the other hand, got a 92, one of the best scores in the class.  After learning this, Eddie decided to get even, and wrote a pathetic attempt at an anonymous note, pointing the finger at Wally for cheating.

The very wise teacher, though, saw right through this, and confirmed it to Wally that Eddie and Lumpy were the rascals.

Wally wanted to beat Eddie up, but Ward convinced him not to.  He said Eddie would have to figure it out on his own that had done a bad thing.

Sure enough, Eddie came over right then to apologize to Wally, and tell him he was going to try out "this studying thing" that was working so well for Wally.

The next day at class Eddie amazed everyone with his knowledge of the founding members of the League of Nations.

************

Then, Daniel Boone was captured by the Spanish Army.  They wanted to take back the Virginia territories for Spain.  I had to go to work, though.













Mwah, ... 

Anyone else up here in the Bay Area

Seen that  slightly creepy teevee ad for Merritt Bakery and Restaurant? (It is entirely possible that it is just me.  I saw it early this morning, watching an old -- In color! Guest starring Ronny Howard! -- episode of Daniel Boone on MeTV.)

More on Daniel Boone in a minute -- he's a big man! So, the Merritt ad starts with a couple arguing by Lake Merritt at dusk.  It is probably shot in color, but it is all washed out and dark, and plays as black and white.  The man leaves in a huff, throwing his arms down near his waist in disgust, and tromps off along the lake path.  Then we get a long shot of the man walking soulfully, and dejectedly, hands in his pockets, with the Oakland skyline as the backdrop.  Cut to the woman at a window booth at the Merritt Bakery and Restaurant, receiving a cup of coffee, placing her order with her server.  It is night now.  The woman stares directly in to the camera because she has obviously seen someone she knows.  New shot, the woman's POV:  It is her Sweetie! The dejected man has spotted her.  He is looking at her through the window, his palms on the glass. The commercial ends with the lovers reunited, sharing coffee and a meal, talking their problems out.

I should not quibble, I suppose.  It is nice that it is an unusual subject matter for a commercial, and it is also nice that it is for a local Oakland dining institution.  (I had many a late-night meal at the Merritt last I lived in Oaktown.  I like the Merritt.) But, the execution of the commercial, and the tone still gives me the willies.

As for Fess Parker, Ron Howard, and Daniel Boone, honestly, I had never seen an episode all the way through.  Ugh.  What a god-fearing, reactionary, freedom-loving, freedom-fighting little abomination of a television program it is.  And, the episode I saw with Ron Howard as a guest star (Howard plays Luke, whose thieving lying Pa is killed by Boone's cohort, Ben) was particularly awful.  I did like Claire Wilcox as Mary, though.

************

How is everyone doing? Getting excited for the holidays, yet? I watched The Good Wife in real-time last night (I like the program -- Renee can not stand it) and was exposed to dozens of hideous odious Black Friday shopping commercials.  Sometimes I hate my country, my country's culture, my culture altogether.  Generally, the only television I watch with commercials is live sports, and, I hardly do that even.  Most sports I watch is dvr'd, or, the Red Zone, which is a whip-around seven hour Sunday program with no commercials whatsoever! Heaven!

Seeing all those awful konsumterror commercials last night really made a dent in my soul, so naturally, after The Good Wife, I decided I would watch Ken Burns' The Dust Bowl! (At least there were not any commercials, right?)

I recognize Ken Burns' flaws, yet, I still enjoy his films.  And, the amazing body of work that he will ultimately leave behind, his history of this youthful complicated ambitious prideful sometimes hateful nation in which we live, begs to be respected.

Actually, I must admit that my favorite part of The Dust Bowl is that we already have two witnesses named Pauline, and a third Pauline is remembered for dying of "dust pneumonia".
Pauline was my Oklahoma Grandmother's name. (There is also a Lewis witness, too.  Lewis is my Mother's maiden name.) It is also delightful to hear the Oklahoma accents.

It is not so delightful, and definitely soul-crushing, to learn about the way my Southern Plains ancestors foolishly and greedily raped the land the Native Americans had lived on for centuries, all for lucre.  Wheat millionaires these Next Year Folks aspired to be.  And, they, and thousands of others all over the Plains suffered as a result.

I had no idea about the penetrating awesome power of static electricity that would precede and be part of the fearsome awe-inspiring Black Blizzards.  Dust storms that would completely block out the sun, and turn day in to night.  Folks back then would attach a metal bar to the back bumper of their car, so as to ground the static electric charge that would consume the air and land.  Scary, fascinating stuff.

Burns ended part one last night with a Woody Guthrie song, and tonight's conclusion will talk about the famous Okie exodus to California and other parts.  That could be even tougher to watch than last night's installment.  But, I will be there.

All my love, Angels, 

xxxoooxxx