Parade's End is a bloody good little

Melodrama.  The mini-series was written by Tom Stoppard, and as he is also a producer, I imagine it is his little baby.  He has probably been itching for years to bring the Ford Madox Ford Parade novels to the big screen, and as so much of the best "films" today are television series, mini-series, or cable movies, why not have the Beeb and HBO birth your beautiful new baby for you? Plus, it certainly can not hurt (and HBO were v smart) to show Parade's End, an aristocratic English upstairs/downstairs smart-alec's soap set during The Great War, right after Season Three of Downton Abbey concludes.

Parade's End is infinitely better than Downton Abbey.  But despite being set in the same period, the comparison is not fair.  DA is an-open ended continuing series, whereas Parade's End is five hours long, full stop; an adaptation of what some critics thought of as an impenetrable or unadaptable series of novels.  

Yet, Stoppard was not deterred.  Good for him, and us.

Parade's End tells the story of Chrissie Tietjens,"the last Tory", and one of the most brilliant minds of his generation, watching stone-facedly as "his Jerusalem", "his green and pleasant land" vanishes before him, being replaced by trade unions, suffragettes, a rise in Roman Catholicism, loose morals, liberalism, partisanship trumping what is right, a totally Twit of the Year officious ruling aristocracy (h/t Monty Python), and just the whole world going to hell in a hand basket.

And, oh yeah, his drop dead gorgeous socialite Irish Roman Catholic wife is a horrible flirt and adulterer; spoiled rotten, and so consumed with only herself that at one point she uses one of her past flings to get her to the Western Front so as to ask her husband if she can be allowed to take up residence at his old family pile, Groby.  (The Wife and I literally wanted to strangle her throughout the entire series.)

Stoppard has done such a masterful job with this material, and has created something perhaps lately unique, a "film" that demands repeated viewings not because of glorious sweeping visual moments, or hilarious sight gags, or jokes; but so the viewer can completely digest and settle with some of the seriously breathtakingly lovely high brow novelistic dialogue.  Honestly, there are some scenes I will simply have to watch again.  And, I am greatly looking forward to that.  This is not a film that speaks down to its audience in any way whatsoever.  And, you really can not blink, either.  A lot of serious plot points are not played on the screen, at all.  You must pay rapt attention, though the rewards are worth such rapturous devotion.

Benedict Cumberbatch plays Chrissie Tietjens, and Rebecca Hall plays his wife, Sylvia.  It is some of the finest acting I have seen in a while.  Cumberbatch, in particular, is really building quite an impressive CV.  Cumberbatch's posture, face, and strange muttering strangled voice almost completely make you forget about the actor.  (That voice can be a challenge though for viewers.  We watched it with subtitles, just so we could get every juicy word.)  Ms Hall's attack was near as good, if of a different more technical style.  She has absolutely no intention of fooling you that she is someone else.  She is Rebecca Hall, dang it, and she has never looked more lovely in her life.  Red hair suits her.  Ms Hall prefers to attack her character through words.  And, it is absolutely delicious and ravishing to hear her roll and loll her tongue around Stoppard and Ford's exquisite high style language; to see her sulk and play exasperatingly bored is divine and sexy as all get out.  

"Hmmm, how best shall I torture my insubstantial half-man husband today?"

Parade's End comes supremely highly recommended by me.  I think you have to watch it through an HBO platform right now, or procure it through the grey market of the interwebs.  It is well worth it, though.  Those in love with the English language at its finest; or devotees of the themes of selflessness, sexual repression, unrequited love, honor, and relationships dominated by weakness and resentment should devour with relish the five delicious hours of Parade's End.

 Mwah, ... 

P.S.  And, then it is fun to watch Cumberbatch and Hall w/ James McAvoy and Dominic Cooper in Starter for 10 after you are done w/ all that heavy lit stuff!

Around a billion years ago, in the Winter and Spring of 1983,

A friend from High School turned me on to David Bowie (and the Pyschedelic Furs, and XTC) and I promptly became insanely obsessed with him.  Out went Pink Floyd, King Crimson, Yes, all my Prog favorites, and it became DavidBowieFM Austin.  Drove my parents absolutely flipping nuts, I am sure.  (My Da, Andy, actually likes a little Bowie.  His fave songs are Changes, Golden Years, and Modern Love.)

Anyroad, as I was doing my Risky Business dance at home, devouring and living inside every single Bowie record -- and, I do mean record, folks -- I never really paid any serious amount of attention to the lyrics.  The thing I liked best about Bowie was the whole package.  The ever-changing "brand" he constantly recreated.  I loved that he wore insane clothes, and tons of girly makeup, and that he was constantly doing daft, showy, theatrical stuff as part of his act.  (In 1974, Bowie totally ditched his very expensive Orwellian 1984 sets for his Diamond Dogs tour halfway through, as it was a dud, and a bore.  He went without a set, at all, the rest of the tour, just him with a skull as a prop in a Hamlet get up.  He also used to do mime on stage as part of his show!) That whole part of Bowie naturally appealed to the Drama Major side of me.

But, the fact that all these pretentious theatrical phases were always ultimately tied up in to a Rock format and genre appealed to the teenage male part of me.  That, and the guitars.  And the sex.

I had no inkling that Queen Bitch was a song about a drag queen.  I barely even knew what a drag queen was, probably.  Queen Bitch rocked! The song seemed sexy as all get out, and, it had the word "bitch" in the title.  How naughty!

I still have no idea what the song Cracked Actor is about.  (I will work on that today.) But, Cracked Actor rocked! And, he talks about "head" in it.  I barely knew what head was back then, and I most certainly had not given or received it yet, but it was sexy and risque.

Here are some lyrics from Velvet Goldmine: 

 Velvet Goldmine, you stroke me like the rain

Snake it, take it, Panther Princess, you must stay

Velvet Goldmine, naked on your chain

I'll be your King Volcano right for you again and again
My Velvet Goldmine

And he mentions head again in the first couplet! Looking back now, those have got to be some of the cheesiest and most ludicrous sexy song lyrics ever writ.  (There was a reason the song was just the b side of a single.) I did not care.  I did not even understand it probably.  But, he mentioned head again! And it rocked! (Well, sort of.)

It is much the same thing with Suffragette City.  I have always looooved Suffragette City from the moment I heard it.  I am sure if you had asked me in 1983 what the greatest rock song of all-time was I would have told you Suffragette City.  I liked the guitars a lot.  Suffragette City really does rock.  I loved how the "Hey, Man"s switched channels halfway through the track.  I loved the thought of "Mellow thighed chicks" bending my spine out of place.  Now, I knew what a Suffragette was, thanks to Paul McCartney and Jet from Band on the Run, but by the time I had formulated the thought in my head, What/Where is Suffragette City? What is this song about? would generally be the time "Wham Bam, Thank You, Ma'am" would appear, and I would be lost in a world of teenage horniness again.

But, lo and behold, just the other day, as I was walking to work, listening to Suffragette City, like an arrow through the brain, I finally figured out what/where Suffragette City is, and what the song is about.  It is really simple.  And, I am a little embarrassed I never figured this out earlier.  The brain works in mysterious ways.

Suffragette City is the tale of a college lad, home on break from school in his dinky suburb or village.  Suffragette City is the college town where he goes to school, where all the college girls are uptight, hairy feminist chicks.  (Think roughly of the relationship between James McAvoy and Rebecca Hall in the movie, Starter for Ten.) Our hero and his friend are both immensely relieved and elated to be back home with their easy-going regular suburban/village girls, and all the sex that comes with it, even though our hero confesses to his friend that he is hopelessly in love and sexually obsessed with his Suffragette City girlfriend back at school.

Or, at least that is what I think. How about you?

All my love,
Ardent

It is not a great film,

Or, even perhaps, a really good film.  But I will always have a soft spot in my heart for Starter for Ten.

James McAvoy, Rebecca Hall, Dominic Cooper, and, oh yeah, ladies, that is Sherlock in there, too, with a stunning comedic tour de force performance.  (Plus, one of the writers/creators of Sherlock, who plays Sherlock's brother is also in Starter for Ten, as the University Challenge Host.)  Great 80s soundtrack, as well, ... The Cure, The Smiths, New Order, etc, ...

It is a pretty decent sentimental fun way to while away a hundred minutes.  Definitely recommended.

(By the way, I am still waiting to see the final installment of Sherlock this Sunday before passing judgement on it.  This season may be a little too "sexy", maybe they are overdosing on the bells and whistles? And where is Zoe Telford?! I will reveal all next week.)

"I thought that if you played an acoustic guitar/That it meant that you were/A protest singer"

Enjoy the videos,
Mwah, ...